We zijn al vier weken op weg in onze zomervakantie. Nadat we genoten in Italië, ben ik nu alweer enkele dagen aan het werk. Thuis is echter alles nog in de vakantiemodus. Langer blijven liggen (als we geluk hebben), tot 11 uur in de pyjama, weinig haren kammen en vooral lekker lanterfanten.
Af en toe gaan we erop uit met zijn allen. Zoals laatst, toen we op een regenachtige dag besloten naar een indoor speeltuin te gaan. Vriendjes werden opgetrommeld, broodjes werden gesmeerd en het was een kwestie van tijd voordat we zouden vertrekken. Ware het niet dat zoonlief en zijn vriendje vlak voordat we gingen nog kattenkwaad uithaalden. En niet zomaar belletje lellen bij de buren, nee, dit was van serieuze aard, met serieuze consequenties. We moesten een statement maken: zowel hij als zijn vriendje mocht niet meer mee met het uitje.
Verdriet en teleurstelling volgden, maar hij had heel goed in de gaten dat hij een grens had overschreden. Er zat niks anders op dan te slikken en zichzelf te vermaken. Als moeder heb ik nog weleens moeite met deze situaties. Ik wik en weeg dan tussen onvoorwaardelijke liefde en een consequente levensles aanleren.
Maar houdt onvoorwaardelijke liefde in dat alles mag en kan? Nee, dat denk ik niet. Onvoorwaardelijke liefde houdt in dat je zoveel van iemand houdt dat je diegene juist wilt leren wat grenzen zijn. Leren wat wel kan en wat niet. Wat geoorloofd is en wat niet. Wat kwetsend is en wat liefdevol. Omdat je weet dat het pijn kan doen als grenzen overschreden worden en de ander beschadigd kan raken wanneer hij de grens te laat ziet. Onvoorwaardelijke liefde is grenzen aangeven en houden van degene die ze toch overschrijdt.
Is dat ook niet wat God ons leert? Hij heeft ons grenzen gegeven in de vorm van de tien geboden. Hij weet dat we er ongelukkig van worden wanneer we deze overtreden. Hij heeft die grenzen niet gegeven om ons dwars te zitten, maar juist om ons lief te hebben. Wanneer we ernaar streven zijn geboden na te leven, zullen we geluk ervaren, blijdschap en goede relaties.
Toch heeft God ook een plan B bedacht. Hij weet dat wij mensen zijn van vlees en bloed, die dagelijks te maken hebben met verleidingen. Omdat God onvoorwaardelijk van ons houdt gaf Hij zijn Zoon. Opdat wij vergeven zullen worden. De grenzen die wij steeds weer overgaan, daar kijkt Hij niet meer naar om. Hij geeft ons nieuwe kansen om het nogmaals te proberen. Dat is onvoorwaardelijke liefde. Vallen en weer opstaan en opnieuw op weg gaan.
Voordat ik naar de speeltuin ging met de overige kinderen nam ik zoonlief apart. Ik drukte hem op het hart: ‘Ik vind het heel jammer dat je niet mee kan nu. Ik wil dat je weet dat ik je vergeef en dat ik nog net zo veel van je houd als voordat dit gebeurde.’
De volgende dag tijdens de kerkdienst maakte hij een tekening en schreef achterop een tekst voor zijn vader: ‘Lieve papa, deze heb ik voor jou gemaakt, omdat je zo goed voor me zorgt. Xx’
Zijn vader had vervolgens de tranen in zijn ogen.
Ook al had hij gisteren de grens opgezocht, hij hield van zijn zoon.
En ook al had hij een vermaning gekregen, hij hield van zijn vader.
Prachtig toch, hoe onvoorwaardelijke liefde werkt?
Christien Korf
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